Its time

They used to cheer as you walked. They cried with glee as you talked. You loved their love. Contempt was nothing you had seen. You were everyone's little darling. Your worth followed your dreams' limitless sojourns. You saw it all ahead of you. You waited for the right moment to stretch out and attain what you had earned. You derived ecstacy out of your understanding. You loved the difference you felt, loved the difference you knew, you'd make. And you hit solid ground. You wondered about truth, wandered about delusions. They stopped and waited. You threw away your robes. They gave you time. You wanted to be mere, they told you otherwise. You ushered in simplicity. They kept mum. You had brought yourself into the middle of the typhoon, because you wanted to know where creation and catastrophe merged. They wouldn't walk with you, not that you wanted them. They were the background, you were the light. But once in the middle of the storm, you wanted out. The storm cannot reveal, it can only consume. It cannot enlighten, it can purge. You cried for it to be over. It ended, you were left on a flattened firmament.Euphoria replaced Strife for it was relief.

They were no longer there. The robes were taken away. They had found another king. You were left with nothingness for company. Your empire had been blasted by the storm. The real empire in your mind had been destroyed by none but YOU even before the storm took you in. The ones whose adulation you tasted with irreverence now threw spite.

The nothingness begged to be accepted. You'd been foolish. If you'd wanted to be king. you should have well loved the bloodshed and remained emperor. They all love a warrior. Foolish you had been to cater to longings for slaughter as a monk

Kyunki...

Episode 1.
Two brothers. One, the righteous Mamma's boy, all virtuous and god fearing; hard working and benevolent. The other, the chocolate boy, with an amreekan accent, that returned in true Soap-opera style back to his mum,when she needed him most(well, thats what he said).He was the kind that made girls go weak in the knees,but then, don't mistake him to be one of those bindaas playboys. This is the first episode remember, the scheming ex-love(s) comes 200 episodes later.Both were fine 'eligible bachelors', as their mother had come to notice. They lived together, ate together, faced battles together, won together, all this while their family cheered them on. They put their family's shaan in the spotlight. It was special because till then, the society thought that there was none(er...shaan). And can the comparisons to Ram and Lakshman be ignored? (No, they didn't fight over who gets to be Ram.) Everything was nice, and everybody smiled. And every other day, they held parties to celebrate their happiness. And they offered poojas the household deity when these *parties* were held. The extended-family gushed at their happiness.


Episode 100
One of our fine boys met with an accident. He went into a coma. He could no longer be with his brother. And the brother had to take on the games of life on his own. He sought the help of many a kith, sometimes seeing glory, and at most times settling back into misery, defeated by life. Nothing could fill the void that his brother's unfortunate condition had created, even his teary eyed mother could not accept her sons' respective, complementary wheels of fortune. Even as his life traced the sinusoidal curve, he found the love of his life. She stood in the arena as he battled challenges and cheered him on, in true style. Our coma- man was not alone too. His maiden took his hands and put hers in it. And a shaadi mantap was re-created in the ICU wing. And thus, he was married. The games of life, went on.


Episode 150
All love was lost- between our man and his cheerleading love. The lady that was once the epitome of "compassion" and that wore cotton salwars had-over 50 episodes- turned into a cussing virago dressed in black chiffon sarees with 3 cm long bindis.

The mother found out that, her first son was indeed feigning a coma, because he had had a brain transplant and now had the brain of a scheming old mama called piperno.

But the mother hushed up things fearing the world's perceptions of her children. The extended family questioned the reasons for the long lost love and happiness in the great mother's family. But answers were never found. Answers were not sought in the first place, for sometimes, questions meant more than answers.

Episode 3,344
The cold war turned bitter. Just when a truce was thought to be approaching, and the family's pride was challenged by an ugly takeover, the brothers had returned, back to each other, back together. But their mothers joy was shortlived. Their unity cracked, and the mother had a heart attack.

What righteous sons would dessert their mother and break her frail heart? And so, they decided- Enough was enough.

The brothers were back, and the (extended)family was all set for a party again. The designer sarees and suits that had long been dumped in the closets were pulled out and the latest bollywood song collection was readied for what the mother wished to be, a party of a lifetime. The party was set on the date of yet another battle for our then Vaali-Sugriva and now Ram -lakshman. Out they went and defeated the demons of the scheming world, and walked back into their mansion. Just when the family was ready to celebrate their success with exaggerated, but happy, laughter and not-remotely-funny one liners, in stepped in the adversary of the family.

Dr. Reality.

He declares to the horror of the maa and the friends, and extended family that all is not what it seems like. He reveals the details of the "plastic surgery" he had performed on the two men, and tells the dumbstruck lot that the true brothers were long dead, and that these men were their evil adversaries with just the faces of the virtuous boys transplanted in place of theirs. The mother has her 7th heart attack.

RIP lee-hesh. You'll remain in our hearts forever.

Maa, are we minority too?

The whole wide background- Also politically correct. Nahh! look at the next one, look at the next one!
The masala skimmed from the gravy
And a little more

TO start with, Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you Sonia ji, happy birthday to you. May god bless you, er no, may allah bless you, may allah bless you, UP birthday Sonia jee, UP birthday to you.(UP=Happy. Welcome to Uttam Pradesh).
*60 claps resound*
[ah, Mulayam ji, Amar ji, namaste! how are things? Good I hope *smirk*. And we need to talk a bit about the UP elections issue, but that-later.]

Now let us focus on Dr Manmohan SIngh, honorary Prime minis-
Oh No! Psst, Mamohan ji, the strings are showing. No no, not the loose ends in reasoning(No dont worry, the ones that can see it have long stopped pointing the flaws out, and the ones that should see the loose ends, are busy covering the Ash-Abhishek kundli matching ceremony) But sir, I was talking about the puppet strings.
Now, thats better. The honourable Prime minister is a good endorser of products with strings attached, besides being numero uno in that category himself.(shoo, you political conspirators, I was talking about the PM's special personal interest in the Indian textile industry and exotic zardosi art.)

Oh yes, coming back to the subject, The 52nd meeting of the national development council, in which our honourable PM spoke about-amongst other things-,the 11th five year plan(drat! I blinked and missed the last eleven??)and all the sure shot methods to make sure that "India will be firmly placed in the front ranks of fast growing developing countries".

And like in any good democracy, shreeman PM has decided that THE factor that will put India at the forefront of all developing countries indeed is 'equality'. Now what do we say about his ingenuity.

"We will have to devise innovative plans to ensure that minorities, particularly the Muslim minority, are empowered to share equitably in the fruits of development.They must have the first claim on resources"

(outlook)

These statements have instigated an uproar of sorts among certain sections of educated India( with this, any mistaken reference to the sections of the Indian populance that jump directly to Page3 of publications that refer to themselves as "news"papers while discussing the colour combinations of certain Tarun Tahiliani creations, are to be ignored and taken to be an acute lapse-in-aesthetics-of-expression on the part of the writer.)
Clearly, a lot of things are not quite right in our homeland. The state of affairs is indeed wretched. What? you might want to ask.Here's what:

I have nothing to say against Manmohan Singh. But it is sad that, someone of his stature has to resort to cheap tricks like pataofying the votebank stashed away in obscure corners of UP to conquer the upcoming elections(They could have gotten Shibu Soren to do it,instead. He has enough time on his hands anyway. What do you mean he was in jail?Like it matters anyway ). Someone tell the Congress think tank that- in all probability-, most of the elements of their targeted "current accounts":

i)Do not have access to mass media in the first place to listen to Manmohan ji's address, about how the hopelessly deprived, emaciated Muslim(minority) shall be raised on a pedestal and fed privileges and resources till they beg the govt to stop.

ii)Cannot read the PM's address in newspapers(if any) because they can't read.

iii)Couldn't watch the details of the address on the news because UP gaons have power cuts/load shedding for 16 hours a day.

iv)Who says that the muslim minorities, particularly of the Uttam Pradesh area are not in touch with the political scenario?No no, thats not what I'm suggesting. But then, half of them are probably having the time of their lives watching Dhoom 2 in some tent somewhere. (while their urban counterparts do the same on plush chairs in glossy multiplexes).
End result, manmohanji loses both the brattish,urban majority folk and the deprived rural minority junta to who? Hrithik Roshan?
Now what do the spoilt majorities expect? Manmohanji to come riding on a Hayabusa?
v)If the last 4 didn't make sense. Lets face it. Our muslim minority brothers and sisters, that the Congress is targetting, simply DON'T GIVE A DAMN.(and again, they are keeping pace with their super-advanced-urban,majority counterparts)

Dont be silly you say? The PM obviously was looking one way and meaning to look elsewhere.
So was he throwing hints to the coalition members that minority appeasement was still a valid card to play? or no wait! Was this another solution to the Kashmir issue?(We're rocking with 'em mossies baby! why dont you pakis join the party too?) Or was this a new secret SETI NASA-PMO joint exercise set up, to contact extra terrestrials?

[That was the alleged list of rejects that the congress Public Relations office contemplated on using to "justify" and relate to the media, the "full meaning" of the PM's address. Remember-You heard it here first!]

If minority appeasement is a fair game to play just before elections, why cry foul at the BJP's attempts to muska-fy the Hindu majority with their Hindutva anthems when its their time on the stove? At least it makes sense, and goes with the laws of arithmetic(political or otherwise). At least Hindutva emerged the most successful campaign of the BJP. It beat the hell out of a more suave and flamboyant "India Shining" campaign and still outshined the "Bijli, Sadak, Paani" charade.

Can the same be said about the Congress's grand 'root-for-the-minority-cause' plan? All they're doing is ganging up with the rest of the folks, that were deserted by the hindutva party. Finding an enemy's enemy is a friend-for-life gained. But still, when elections come calling, the INC or more like the UPA can be seen scrambling around for more strategies to throw around.
[suggestions are all welcome. And I'm hoping that my suggestions will be considered too and that I will be considered as a candidate-hopeful to some by-election in the not so near future]
AT this rate, the congress campaign-managers might consider taking a leaf out of the booklet of Soren's lawyers and project him as the next logical Gandhi(or bapu of Jharkand if you please).(With sonia busy with Delhi affairs and Rahul now completely engaged in Bareilly, the congress surely can use another person with the magical "gandhi" suffix for rallies in dusty UP towns). The bapu almost did a somersault in his grave. And Soren, also being touted as the Nelson Mandela of Jharkhand could go down well with our urban neo activists who would turn their noses away in disgust at Dharaavi in Mumbai but that toil for the cause of slums in Indonesia.(You didn't get the point right? Neither do I ever.)

But we cannot blame the Congress government entirely. I mean, this can't/won't go on forever will it? It has already granted the muslim populace the full right to blossom into a full fledged majority in a few decades,on full throttle. (play the numbers game babyy!)
*Terribly tempted to repeat Narendra Modi's nasty take on hum do humare do* (But no! I will not openly support such shamefully right-wing-ed comments)

Till then, mothers belonging to the so called majority-category-religions will wonder how they will convince their children that they are not children of lesser gods.

And cabinet ministers will order students of premier institutes, that protest against the Indian government's ways of pushing aside their marks sheets and moving over to the details of their caste-certificates, to be hosed down and then move over to press conferences later in the day to belittle Indian students who fly to foreign shores to pursue their academic dreams.
(The press of course was the smartest of the lot! The minister's comments find the 11th page and the pictures of AIIMS doctors being lathi charged is seated on the 13th page while half page pieces on Brangelina's whereabouts find themselves on Page1.)

Arre, pass me some more birthday cake yaar!


(December 9th, 2006)

And so it begins...

Oh my god. I don't believe it. I just didn't ever think that I'd get here. I mean, there I was sitting in a corner, wondering whose this glory and this magnificient victory would be, but never ever in my wildest dreams did I even stumble upon this as a probability that destiny would put me here this day, this way. Never. It is so unbelievable. I'll let the feeling sink in. And while it does, I have a few people to thank.

*Removes the pre written 'Thank you' speech from within the kazillion swarovski embedded Ritu Beri suit she's wearing*

First and foremost, I'd like to thank god. Yes. I pray to him everyday. I pray for the world.. He's been with me through thick and thin(yes, friends might desert you when you're a waist- 34, but god wont).

My life would be nothing without my inspirations.
I'm walking down the same path that a few women once did. I want to work for hunger and war and sadness to end. No. I shall not ever stagnate in one stance. I shall die a thousand deaths, kill a thousand evils and still return. Nothing shall gray away. What will remain will be dazzling shine(and no ammonia too?). And with that, I thank Mariah Carey,

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey

Tulsi Virani, and L'Oreal.



Lastly and most importantly, I thank Guruji and hold him responsible for all that I have achieved today. I will always be indebted to him for never devaluating the value of "dreams", and foresight, and for teaching me the same.



Love you all.

*wipes a tiny picture perfect tear* as the shutterbugs go bonkers in a mad frenzy, to click her photos.

And tomorrow, she shall appear on the front page of the Times Of India; And this shall then be her last post.


But till then, she will concentrate on saying enough controversial things to get the TOI to feature her everyday in the city editions thereafter.



GODBLESS and yes, PEACE in the world of god.

*applause*

*standing ovation*